Followers

Thursday 1 November 2018

Perception Deception

An ally can be your enemy in a blink of an eye.
To make an enemy your friend is almost impossible
without propaganda and lies.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
A doctrine that keeps on playing on my head over and over
as there is truth in every lies and lies in every truth.
But why are we so obtuse?

Life is simple,
Keep on living until you die.
But how many had truly lived while they are alive?


The search for meaning.
Always looking and lurking for a reason behind everything.
Looking up at the skies praying
It comes down to a simple choice, really.
Get busy living or get busy dying.

Thursday 27 September 2018

mumbling

As you grow older, you realize how fast time goes by. Today can be Monday and all of a sudden it's already Friday. Just when you think you're gonna enjoy your weekend. Monday is knocking on your door.

I remember when I was a kid. Like the rest of you, we all can't wait to grow up. Man, that was the worst wish ever. Right?

While driving to work today, I realize that I'm getting older. Because I don't have as much fun anymore. I was broke as hell back then but I lived a wild life. Then it hit me, age is just a number but a person really grows up when they have responsibility. If you don't have any, then you can be as young as you want to be.

This is just a mumbling post. Nothing real behind it. Maybe I'm just trying to get back that mood of writing.

There's a lot of posting in this blog that is never finished. I never really get back into any of it. I just simply don't have the time and when I do have time, I'm out of ideas.

we can't really have what we want could we.

Tuesday 14 August 2018

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender #LGBT

The LGBT issue is hot right now, my lost writings may or may not help citizens to understand them better rather then just judge them base on one sided view of their understanding (religion).

It was 2010, the year that I went to KL to develop my career. I was 23 at the time and was still clueless on what I wanted to become. My space and Friendster was dead, twitter was on the raise where facebook had already established itself as the number one social media platform. But it was thru Tagged that I manage to start on my research as there are many "subjects"available fro research.

I have a friend since primary school. Can't mention his name but He was an effeminate guy. Kindda soft and imitate the behavior of a girl. He also have a wicked tongue. Meet up with him a few years after I finish high school and he had become softer and starts to wear girly clothes and lip stick. At first I thought it was an emo style gone wrong since Emo and Gothic was a famous pop culture back then. Since he had been working in Singapore, I always thought that he was following the style there.
But I know it was more then that when he starts to wear tight pink shirt with mini girl shorts and girls flip flops. He's close with another 2 friends from school in which I grew up with. They to are like him. I guess they form a pack and stick together despite disapproval from the public. 

I had an acquaintance when I was studying in UiTM, same batch but different course. He's soft but still look like a boy. Often bullied but later found refuge among  the seniors who are like him but more extreme. Those seniors appearance are like Transgender. They have boobs and even wear girl like clothes. But he was accepted when all other rejected him due to his appearance. When we became seniors, his appearance too had change, not that extreme like the previous seniors but it was more then he was when he was a junior.

These experience had spark interest in me to get to know them to understand on why there were what they are. I manage to have a talk with the him to study his background and try to find a conclusion.
He was just an effeminate guy, growing up with 5 siblings and he's the only boy. He's close with his sisters and don't have many friends as his family move a lot due to his father's work. His sisters often play girl stuff with him, put on make up and play dress up. That was how he got his girl trades.

But his answer does not satisfy me as I have a cousin who's the only boy from 8 siblings of girls. He turn out ok. So I can't make a conclusion from him. I also thought that it was due to a broken family, but my friend from Primary school have a beautiful normal loving family. I can't find they "key"factor on the reason behind why are they like that.

I start to get to know them in Tagged. Apparently, you can find all sorts of people in KL. It's where everyone goes to escape I guess. "The Sin City". Lengkok Raja Laut is a street in between Jalan Raja Laut , Jalan Chow Kit and Jalan Ipoh. It is equivalent to "Jalan Susur" in JB or Jalan Dhobi.
Well Jalan Dhobi in Johor Bahru had changed now.

I started to notice the place when I wanted to withdraw money from Standard Charted bank in Jalan Ipoh ( The Branch has closed down now ). There would be cars circling the area and I can see some "girls"talking to the cars that passed by. Some even entered the car after they talk for a while.

Since I use Chow Kit Monorail station everyday, I get to see what's going on often around that area. I meet with this one person one night when I was having my dinner in a corner store at Jalan Chow Kit. I can't remember his name but he was a cross dresser. He was sitting across the table from me, in front of the television. I was eating and looking at the television and he thought that I was checking him out. I remember he said something like this "Tengok tengok bukan dapat apa, nak kenal mari la duduk sebelah sini" I just smile and said, "Saya tengok TV Kak" he turn his back to the TV and said "Malu aku... Sorry". with his nasal voice.  He starts to mumble alone talking to himself and blaming his late friend. I remember he had a BB phone at the time. After I'm done eating I go to the counter and paid for my food and his drink. Told him that I had paid for his drink and he thank me. He had asked for my BB pin. I lied and said I had left my BB at home and asked him to give him his pin instead. I was actually using a Nokia phone at the time as I can't afford to buy a BB phone. BB phone was expensive during that period in time.

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Tuesday 8 May 2018

2018

Wow, it's been a while. 1st posting of 2018 and it's already May.

A lot had been going on in life. De'Press Art has been growing and growing by the day. It's a good sign I guess. The last post that I blog about was in October of 2017. That was the time I was busy with JB Art Fest. Where is conducted my zine class and Poetic vibes. It has been a non stop monthly event after event after event it seems.

2017 started out with Independent & Art Market, I did 3 edition of Independent & Art Market where the 3rd edition was in Kluang. Kluang is awesome. It's bigger then JB. ( The town I mean ) good breakfast especially the coffee.

Then there was Poetry Palooza and Kunang-Kunang IV, before wrapping up poetry event with Poetic Vibes during JB Art Fest.

I myself was surprise. I din't think that I would manage to do that much of event in short period of time. Well I did and I manage to achieve my outcome. I wanted to create a platform for those who are interested in arts. All kind of arts just to showcase their talent to the public.

JB has a long way to go before arts can be appreciated by the public at large. But at the same time, there are lots of collectives and NGOs merge and get involve with arts. A massive sign that this will turn and spark a new culture among the people.

My ultimate goal is only for Johor Bahru to be an Arts and Cultural HUB for Malaysia.

It's not an easy thing to accomplish. But I will do what I can do for as long as God will me to do it. The sad part of it is that I lost few friends along the way.

hurmmm... Can I really call them as FRIENDS??? I mean, a friend would help each other and not try to pull someone's potential back just because they are not comfortable with it. They are more to just acquaintances I guess. I was too kind and too optimistic to try to change their life for the better. They are comfortable with themselves that way. So why should I event try? No one can change a person either then that person itself.

I'll continue on doing my thing and try to help as many people as I could.